This topic is something I’ve always wanted to write about in a little more depth. If you’ve listened to any episodes of my Boss Bitch + a Baby Podcast, I mention it a few times, and I’ve become increasingly passionate about it as you can see in our products since the 2016 rebrand. There was a real shit encounter with a crush in high school that fucked with my self-esteem for quite some time. I mentioned that it took a lot of work but I never said how much time. To be honest, a lot of time. That happened in 2003 I think? For years I was still not comfortable with myself and certainly not in love with myself. I slowly started working on it but had a turnaround moment around 2012.
This girl was so insecure, and so worried about people's opinions. And obsessed with tweezers, haha.
Before starting Metal Marvels and after a not so fun break up I decided I needed to get away. I took off on a 7-hour road trip, booked a hotel that day, and spent a few days in San Francisco, alone. I forced myself out of my comfort zone to explore the city alone, eat alone, see the sights, and more importantly, spend quality time with myself. I decided to take the bus to the northern viewpoint of the Golden Gate Bridge. I then walked to the smack dab middle of the bridge and stood there at sunset. I should mention, sunset is my favorite time of day. No matter where you are, a sunset is fucking gorgeous.
I stood there alone taking in the sunset, letting my mind clear and bringing it back to me and what I wanted out of life. I started crying. Not necessarily sad tears or happy. There was a bit of mourning for the relationship that ended but I also realized I deserved more from everything in life. This meant from myself also. From that moment I started working on myself.
Don’t get me wrong; there were bumps along the way. A relationship that ended. Another one that definitely shouldn’t have happened. A lot of figuring out who I am and what I want out of life. One thing that I realized is that I was waiting for other people to do things, like go on vacation, move forward, etc. I also realized that I was allowing people's opinions to really affect my life.
I decided that I wasn't going to wait for anyone anymore, and I certainly wasn't going to allow the weight of other people's opinions to affect my life anymore. Because in doing so I was trying to live to meet these expectations that others had, not what I had. And what kind of life is that? Living for the expectations, dreams, goals of OTHER people?! It's not. It's a shitty way to live.
This girl gives 0 fucks, lives for herself, and finally got good brows.
Then came rebranding Metal Marvels in 2016. The items I started selling in 2012, were to be the go to for everyone. To please everyone, yet again perpetuating that usual thing of allowing other people's opinions to dictate I was doing. In 2015, my business coach gave me this look, and had a real serious "it's time to rebrand" talk with me. I was sprinkling in some profanity here and there, and people were certainly gravitating towards those posts.
So I found one necklace with profanity on it and listed it in October. It became my best seller for the entire year. Right there I KNEW there were people out there who wanting the items that I wanted but were not yet available on the marketplace. There were a lot of people who wanted that silent permission to say fuck, and rebel against this idea of being a "lady" that was imposed on us by society. So I figured why not be the person to bring her fuck it attitude, and rebellious nature to the marketplace. The Metal Marvels you know now, was born.
In the past couple years I came up with my deathbed theory, and it’s stuck and resonated with me and my life.
My Deathbed Theory
In the end, you are the one on the deathbed. Not your family, not your friends, not your kids, and not your significant other. I refuse to end up on that bed with regrets because I chose to do or not to do something in my life simply because someone else wanted it. I refuse to live for anyone but myself.Me, Katie Seller.
Stop waiting for other people to influence how you live. Stop holding back because you fear what others might think. In the end, and yes even with a spouse and kids, it’s your fucking life. While yes, up and leaving your family and moving to England, probably not the best choice. However, staying in the job that makes you want to unalive yourself daily, is stupid. Not taking that vacation because you might have to pinch pennies a few months and what would people think?! GO ON A FUCKING VACATION! Get the tattoo. Dye your hair. Quit your job. Marry the person you love, even if it’s been a week. Have a baby on your own. Adopt a kid. Move to another state. Buy that house. Say fuck a lot. Give the finger to societal norms. TAKE UP SPACE. Make some noise. Use your voice. Literally do whatever the fuck it is you want to do, because it’s your life.
Living based on someone else’s opinions will only result in you being in that deathbed with regret. Please don’t do that shit, you deserve more than that.